Me and Devin got started with cleaning up the room... Well, actually, we did something together first. Like, you know... Eat...
Well, anyway, then I had to drop him off at his work. My sweet lover gave me $10 for gas because my gas gauge was waaay below empty....
So after dropping off mi amor, I went to the gas station close to the house by Ralph's. I just stepped out of my car when a guy came up to me and went, "Hey, do you want your car fixed?"
Well, no duh, Sherlock... My car looks like a piece of shat from all the accidents I've had this year. So I asked him what he has up his sleeve, nicely of course.
The guy goes, "I can fix it for $300. Everything. Including the front and the back. I can replace your bumper too".
So I said, "Okay. What do you plan to do?"
Instead of answering, he said, "Will you come up with the money if I fix it today?"
Then the rest of the conversation went like this...
"You can't fix it today. I have things to do."
"Do you have the $300 today?"
"No, I don't. I have to go to work in half an hour. I still have to change into my work clothes so I still have to go home."
"How about I follow you home and I fix it while you do whatever you have to do."
----Why oh why do I attract people like this.....
"No. I'll just call you before Saturday. I can't do it today. I can do it on Saturday."
"It will take me just an hour to fix it."
--Now, whoa there. I don't know about you guys but that just sounds f*cken ridiculous. Fix an entire car, everything, in an hour????? Hell, no.--
"No, I'm sorry I can't do it."
"Ok, I can fix it in half an hour. I can do it while you get ready for work."
"No, I can't do it. I still have to go to work in less than half an hour and my work is half an hour away. ((I was lying...)) And if I let you do it today and you want the money today, I would have to go to the bank. Then I would be late. I don't want to be late. Give me your number, I'll think about it and then if I call you, you can do it on Saturday."
"I can't do it on Saturday. This offer is only today, young lady. Here. I'll show you a free sample..."
He then walks towards his ((crappy ass mother effin)) car, opens his trunk, fumbles through the junk, and comes out with a crow bar. He told me to pop the hood open. So I did. Then the f*cker started pounding all over my damn car, like seriously pounding as if it was a damn hammer he was holding in his hand and my car was a god damn nail.
I was thinking, "Ok. This f*cker has got to be kidding my silly Asian ass..." So I tried to stop his dumbass before he totally wrecks my car. He's like, "No, no. Look, it's getting better! It's getting better! All I have to do is bend this back and you'll be all good."
Well, freaken-ay.... If he's ganna "fix" my car using a crow bar then I can f*cking do it myself....
So I was like, "Stop, I have to go now. I have things to do. I am not getting my car pounded by a crow bar for $300. I'm getting my car fairings (LoL) and my hood replaced. And I don't need you pounding on my car for $300."
And the creep goes, "Ok, fine, $200. I follow you home and we fix it there today and everyone will be happy."
--Seriously, am I just a creepo magnet? Why do these people keep following me?--
"No. I can't do it. I don't have any money right now except for this $10 I have in my hand which I'm about to spend on gas."
"If you get it replaced, you will be charged more and you'll have to have someone do it for you..."
"That's ok. I would like to see my money's worth other than getting it fixed using a wrench for $200."
And so the f*cker leaves and then I had a faint feeling that he just f*cked my car. He left me there trying to close my f*cken hood by myself. So here I am typing with greased fingers and nails... And I have a f*cken party this Saturday.... Anyway, I wasn't able to close the damn hood. So I went in to pay for the gas and asked the lady who was working there if anyone can help me close my hood. She said nobody else was there but her.
So I called Devin because I was f*cken upset.... While I was putting gas in the tank and talking to Devin at the same time, the f*cker came back and went, "Oh, I think your hood isn't closed."
"Damn right it isn't closed. It's because it won't close.... Do you know why?" [Dripping with sarcasm]
"Here. I'll fix it for you." (Yeah, right)
He then grabs his crow bar (again) and pounded on the hood and the lock... Then slams the hood. All that happened while effin Devin won't get the fuck off the phone with me so I can grab the crow bar and give the jerk a cracked skull. Finally, when I hung up on Devin (seriously hun, you need to learn when to shut up), I was able to look at the moron's work. I checked if the hood is okay. Too late to pound his face into my hood by then because the moron was already driving away. Well, the damn hood is entirely bent up now but atleast the f*cker locked it good. Now my problem is, would I ever be able to open the hood?
